So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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