At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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