I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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