can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
