Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
