it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
