So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie