at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she pinky promised me she was 18
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
