So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
