I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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