I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
