omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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