it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she peed on how many people?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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