just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
