ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
