This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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