I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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