this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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