Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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