I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
