ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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