just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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