I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
