You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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