You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
