you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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