Sponge bath it is.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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