Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
