Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
