i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
40s are totally the cure
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
