I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
