The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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