The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
