What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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