I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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