Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
