had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just put wine in my tea
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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