I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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