butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize