he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
