You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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