Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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