i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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