Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So vagazzling was a success
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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