i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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