I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
