How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
