I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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