between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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