I am puke
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
