After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
