she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize