He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
