doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
