You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.