For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
