I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize