the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?