so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
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Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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