Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
