She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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