If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
