your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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