If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
